My "About Me" on Facebook

I'm about to delete this (old) "About Me" section on my Facebook profile but wanted to save it here on the blog for posterity:

Mother of 13 hideously deformed children. Collect redemption cans and bottles fer werk and spend it on Dunkin Donuts coffee, rib eye steak and Funyuns. Drink Carlo deRossi or Franzia for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Smoke Basic Menthol in between meals. Hate them smart people. Love makin' moose hot dogs for my family. Books are stoopid. Favorite shows: Rock of Love &/or Rock of Love Charm Shool, Maury Povich and My Big Redneck Wedding. On Facebook tah git me husband # 5. Five time's a charm. Hollah back at me if yer intrestid. No fatties.
UPDATE: Rock of Love is no longer my favorite show. It been replaced by Jersey Shore. I now have 14 kids, and 2 grandbabies (I think they're my grandbabies; me 'n my boyz, ages 18 and 16, are waiting for the results with their slut baby mommas when we go on Maury Povich). And I definitely like Franzia more than Carlo Rossi. I kent lift them effin jugs no more, now that the muscles in my arms have been eatin' away by lack of food due to crystal meth addiction.